Identity Crisis
Few years back, when the time I realized that I do have something to share; I wanted to spread my ideas. I begin to write, a blog specifically, though not this blog to be precise since this is not my first attempt at blogging.
I wanted to express anything and everything that I think I should share with the world. Why? Simply because, I wanted a better tomorrow for everyone.
But the crisis came; I got so obsessed with hits. Back at that time, I spend quite amount of time and a lot of money to ensure my site would be visited by thousands of people overnight.
Suddenly I realized, I don’t need that thousands of follower, comments and traffic just be proud of it. I just wanted to make sure my ideas would reach to the people who need it the most.
That tiny issue had bugged me for weeks, which distract me from blogging. A month later, that blog became history.
Now, the very same crisis came, again. But with a new twist of awesomeness, with amounting commitment on my daily job, plus with my sort of community service related effort. I began to felt marginalized by my own work.
Now I felt that I am nothing next the others, I’ve seen a lot of “me” inside other blog. The “me” that I wanted to be, the thousands of followers, the endless comments flowing and the huge amount traffic. Again, right now I am deeply distracted.
And this is why I am writing this. This is some kind of letter (whatever) to myself telling that I should never be affected by those distraction crises. I have promised to myself that I should post this as an entry.
I should not be demotivated by others' achievements whether it is countable or even uncountable score. Let it be their followers, their income, their traffic and even their fame. The keyword is never let jealousy distract me, again.
It may sounds a little bit childish for some. But again, that would never distract me from writing this.
You (it’s me actually) are going to set straight what you want from this blog. You are not like them, all the fame and glory hunter. But fame does leverage your ideas.
You know what you are good at. So does about others, and how good they are at utilizing their skills that they are good at.
So you can just continue what you are doing right now, be that awesome jewel, that hidden gem. The one that will be found by those who seek. The one that will be praised by those bright minds. And unto you, will be granted their dearest appreciation.
And for your hearties intention to share, write and spread; only god knows it, more than anyone else in the world. The Almighty shall uncover your path of being what you really deserved to be.
Now, I have made it very clear to myself. How and why should I continue writing on this humble blog. None for credits. Absolute non-profit. It’s time to wake up from my very own nightmare that was wholly created by me.
I know each and every single step what will take in the future. Each particle of my ideas shall not be entangled with any distraction anymore. Well at least not this kind of distraction. The presumably destructive distraction.
This is me, and this is my way of solving my problem. I seek the solution by facing the problem. Deeply I dive, into me, the soul-hosted passion driven monstrous fluctuations.
This writings (or whatever it is) will end within just the next few words and I am going to make sure that last few words would be worth to read. This no joke, if you think it is, then you’ve just getting to know the other part of me.
Bhai Taufik...
ReplyDeleteKita tulis sebab kita mau orang baca dan fahamkan aper yang kita nak ceritakan... Tak kisah la walau seorang pon baca... tapi kalu dier plak citer kat 10 orang... bermakna dah 11 orang yang tau aper yang kiter tulis.... tak gitue... hahaha...
TQ bro for the support haha
DeleteTeruskan menaip dan menaip...siapa baca dan siapa tak baca..itu belakang kira..janji..IDEA kita tu berjaya kita luahkan dan paparkan kepada umum.
ReplyDeleteKita ni,penulis blog adalah pencetus REVOLUSI pemikiran..samaada positif atau negatif,so sebab tu kita bertangungjawab menjadi PEMIKIR tidak rasmi untuk Masyarakat.
Anyway,nice curahan hati bro..in english pulak tu..tergagap2 jugaklah otak aku nak faham bahasa english standard yang kau guna ni..wekeke :P
Bhai Zack...
DeleteStuju ngan pandangan lu nih... memang kiter nih pencetus idea....
Tu la pasal bro, niat tiba2 buleh terpesong tengah2 jalan. Bila dah terpesong, dah tawar hati nak menulis, sebab nak ligan benda lain haha
DeleteBtw, english orang kampung ja bro, ni pun aku tengah edit sikit2 perbetoi yg mana patut :D
powernya english kau heh heh..
ReplyDeleteprinsip aku lebih kurang macam tu jugak sebenarnya..sebab tu aku tak bubuh apa-apa iklan nufnang says apa benda semua tu..
asalkan aku lukis tulis apa aku nak dan dapat kongsi dengan siapa yang nak baca..
Tu la sebabnya aku pun masih tak letak apa2 iklan. Aku tgk banyak blog yg kejar duit. Entry barai. Hari2 update earnings, kerja follower ligan segment haha tengok aku dah butthurt :P
DeleteTapi Noob dah letak iklan kat blog dia, lepas ni kaya la Noob haha
oit oit... tak kaya mana pun letak iklan tu huhu, lainlah aku ni beautiful nara atau ben ashaari...
Deletebtw, mahu sewa ruang iklan? hehe
alamak terpaksa speaking london sambil baca lah..hahahaha
ReplyDeletehahahahahahaharom
DeleteYou never know how your writings touch people's heart, heal their pain, boost their mind and make difference to their life.
ReplyDeleteMata pena lebih tajam daripada mata pedang bro. Dalam kes bro ni, mungkin papan kekuncimu lebih beracun daripada racun tikus :-)
Ballighu 'anni walau ayah!
Sapa ni? mohon perkenal diri. Btw barakallahufik, memang tak dapat diukur kesan2 macam tu. Hanya yg paham & open saja akan teracun haha
DeleteReality is, we don't really 'know' our own self.. we are our own strangers ^^
ReplyDeleteMacam lirik lagu ja, tapi ada betulnya. Subconsciously, we are our own strangers.
DeleteSetuju dgn bbrpa comment d atas.Cuba ingat balik niat kita masa mula2 di blog dulu.Kalau tak ada earning sekalipun klu niat sampai tak apa.
ReplyDeleteTq tuan Konspimaker. Sememangnya macam tu la diharapkan, besa la manusia tak penah rasa cukup.
Deletei was like that before , till at a point i feel exhausted . my mind is tired but i love being known i love the feel of being "likeable" .then i remembered the early days of blogging where i do not care if nobody visits me or leave any comments on my blog cuz im happy enough to write stuff that i wanted to .
ReplyDelete